idiots of the world - unite!
By-Line: Scandal Rocks Law School . . . well, not really
Sub By-Line: Law school not sure what hit it, but DOES know it was rocked
The Set-Up: Prof. Con Law ("PCL") received the Professor of the Year award, after having been on our law school's faculty for less than a year. He's generally adored by his students, plays on the intramural soccer team with the guys in my section, and tells fun stories about when he clerked for Rehnquist.
Last week, on the day of the write-on competition meeting, PCL told our Con Law class that every one of us should try to write onto the journal if we weren't grading on. We have three journals, making writing onto one of them a decent possibility, given the number of people they take, and the size of our class. Additionally, he stated that of the three, Quarterly is the most prestigious. He noted that all the federal judges he knows sort resumes into two piles: the journal pile and the no-journal pile. Out of the three journals at our school, without a doubt, he knew Quarterly would carry the most weight with employers.
Today, he came into class and told us that several 2Ls and 3Ls had confronted him for allegedly saying that the other two journals were trash and not worth writing onto, or doing. He had corrected the 2 & 3Ls, and wanted to take the opportunity to correct us, since the upperclassmen heard it from us. He made a point of saying that the other journals were prestigious, worth doing, and a great experience. Any journal is better than doing no journal. However, he said, he was sticking by his point that Quarterly was the most prestigious out of the three. It didn't mean the other two weren't valuable, but facts are facts, and whoever tried to tell us that Quarterly wasn't the most prestigious was patently wrong.
Enter idiocy, as if on cue. A voice piped up from the back of the room. It was Mr. Army, who, well, is famous anyway for his "class contributions" last semester. "You mean to say," Mr. Army asked incredulously, "That there are people who disagree with you? Who really don't think that Quarterly is the most prestigious?"
PCL said, "I guess so."
"Oh my," said Mr. Army. His disbelief and incredulity were evident. Shocking!
At 10:20, an hour and twenty minutes into our two hour long class, an email went out to Announcements, the address that sends an email to the entire law school, including administration and faculty. The email:
From: [Mr. Army]
Subject: In Defense of Prof. [Con Law]
Date: March 31, 2004 10:20:33 AM CST
To: Announcements
Dear ALL:
My name is [Mr. Army], and it is true, I am just a lowly 1L. I am also
about 100 miles away from "grading on to" anything.
But it has come to my attention that some among us (the student body)
are a little upset at Professor [Con Law] for stating the obvious: That
Quarterly is the most "prestigious" of the three journals here at
[the law school]. If there is no other reason for this, might it be that
Quarterly is the oldest of the three? Or is it also a shock that old
institutions (universities, newspapers, etc.) are almost inevitably the
most "prestigious" of their respective class?
Again, let no one assume I am particularly smart, or have much of a
chance of adding my name to Quarterly's role.
But before any of us get to whiny with crying in our beer at not being in the top 10%,
or not grading on to Quarterly, perhaps a little perspective is in order.
1. [The law school]'s placement in 2002, 6 months past graduation was something
like 97%.
2. The justices of the IL Supreme Court went to the following law
schools:
Loyola, John Marshall, John Marshall, Loyola, SLU, Iowa, and Antioch
Law school in D.C. and only one of their bios mentions that he was
on law review.
3. The chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee (Bill Thomas)
went to a community college, and got his BA and MA from San Francisco
State University--not exactly an "elite" university.
4. The Chairman of Winston & Strawn (James Thompson, also on the 9-11
investigation committee) graduated from Northwestern in 1959, before
Northwestern was "elite", and his bio does not mention that he graduated
with honors, or was on Law Review.
5. The managing partner at Winston & Strawn graduated from Depaul and
his bio also does not mention that he was on law review, or graduated
with honors.
If you have read attorney bios you know that law review always shows up
if the attorney has that credential.
I could go on. But of course the point is there are million and one
ways to become successful in this country, and no one at a law school
like [ours] should be whining about not being on law review...or worried
that Quarterly just is the most "prestigious" of the three journals.
That's how it is at every school. Prof. Con Law never suggested that
unless you are on Quarterly you won't be successful. And he was very
clear that all journal experience is more than worthwhile. But if
anyone out there is interested in selling his or her soul to a firm like
Skadden, or Cravath...or clerking for a Federal Judge, then he or she
should properly know the "resume value" of Quarterly as opposed to one
of the other journals. That was PCL's only point. And it's a point
that is more than obvious to anyone who has read Vault Reports, or the
bios of former federal clerks, law professors, etc. Of course if you
look at the bios of powerful politicians, powerful partners at major law
firms, state supreme court justices, etc. you will find plenty of
people without Law Review or Order of the Coif on their resume. Just a
thought.
[Mr. Army]
This was a double slap in the face for PCL:
Not only did Mr. Army publicize a debate that was unknown to the student population outside of our class (30 people) and a few of the journal editors, he did it while he was supposed to be paying attention to PCL in PCL's class. Idiocy, people, idiocy.
A few moments later, a new email arrived in my in-box. It was from the editor-in-chief of the Law & Policy journal.
From: [Editor-in-Chief]
Subject: Re: In Defense of Prof. [Con Law]
Date: March 31, 2004 10:41:07 AM CST
To: Announcements
An Open Letter to [Mr. Army]:
I appreciate your attempt to keep law-review membership in perspective
for the sake of those in your class who are perhaps very worried about
law reviews. While I hope that all 1Ls will seriously consider
participating in the write-on, we who feel strongly about legal
scholarship must accept that other activities around the school may take
precedent for some.
I must take issue, however, with the impropriety of your e-mail. You
have brought to the fore what should have remained a private discussion
among a few law review executives and a few members of the faculty. If
you have a problem with the law reviews, please come to my office (113A)
to discuss your problem in a discreet forum.
The three editors-in-chief will discuss, individually, the strengths of
the three law reviews as we circulate through the halls and the commons
in the upcoming months. I feel prepared and willing to objectively
discuss the strengths of the three law reviews, and will do so on a
face-to-face basis, given the opportunity for back-and-forth dialogue.
Shocking the whole school by publicly discussing the fallout of one
classroom incident, is simply not appropriate for the "Announcements"
list.
Sincerely,
Editor-in-Chief
[Law School] Journal of Law & Policy
I was very impressed that Editor side-stepped the issue of which journal was more prestigious, and went straight to the fact that Mr. Army's email was mind-numbingly inappropriate. I was also impressed by his fairly neutral tone. Very professional, I thought.
By the end of Con Law, however, I just felt pretty sorry for PCL. There he was, up at the front of the classroom, with no idea that Mr. Army-- however well intentioned-- had just embarrassed him in front of the entire school. Someone in my class IMed me and asked, "Should we tell him before he leaves the classroom? In case someone accosts him in the hallway?" We debated, but that seemed likely to produce even more embarrassment, and we were sure he would find out soon enough, without our interference.
This is another instance in which my classmates' social ignorance just... wow. It leaves me speechless. Utterly speechless. I feel total fantra for Mr. Army, and pretty terrible for Prof. Con Law.
